I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I was sick for nearly two months at the end of 2009 and the general ‘out of sorts’ lasted well into 2010. Nasty flu!

Getting sick is one of the hardest things for parents of difficult kids. We’re used to taking care of them, or at least jumping up and running out to solve the latest emergency.

Here is what helped me get through this time – with one kid in jail and another in Iraq.

• Simplify: I only did what I had to do. This included cooking and cleaning. Plus meetings. Lots of premade food (nutrition and budget took a temporary backseat). Even got groceries delivered (it was free the first time – and worth it).
• Consolidate: I’d gather up my energy and do errands one day and then recuperate the rest of the week.
• Delegate: Actually this was more like – ‘Don’t show up and someone else will fill in.’ And they did. At StandUp, church and my writer’s group, somehow they all got along without me. Yes, they were glad to see me come back again, in good health, but the world didn’t fall apart while I was gone.
• Ask: I asked one of my adult kids to help at home. I asked folks at church and StandUp for support, encouragement and to fill in for me. They did.

Simplify, Consolidate, Delegate and Ask, then get better soon!

You’ve reconciled, begun the process of reconciliation or maybe just hope to see it one day. In the meantime you have a desire to renew that relationship with your teen or adult child. It’s a tricky process at times. Sharing in activity can begin the warming process in a non-threatening way. I’m always on the lookout for ideas that are easy and neutral.

There are things that I do with my kids that might interest you.

• Texting – a good way to connect without being intrusive. I’ve used texts to send invites to family gatherings and to just ‘check in’.
• Reading together – read the same book as your kid and then chat about it. This can be formal or not. I’ve been gifted with books my kids have read. Our library has an Everybody Reads program – free books and discussion groups – a great connecting possibility.
• Writing – some of my kids are story tellers, just like me. I’ve put one story on a blog for them to read. One son and I have an improve story that we write together. It’s goofy and fun. It could be serious and thought provoking.
• Sharing meals – getting together for a lunch or coffee date – keep it short with light conversation at first.
• Work outs – a couple of us chat about our workout routines whenever we connect up with one another. How’s the running going? Getting to the gym? I’ve played tennis with one child (okay, chased a tennis ball). It was fun and got us talking.

These are five activities that have worked for me, over time. Have you got some that you can share with us? Are there activities that you aspire to with your child? Email me at [email protected] and I’ll post your great offerings!

It has actually been around since 2006. An import from China and Korea, it is legally available over the internet and at a head shop near you.

It is known as K2, Spice, Genie and Zohai.

At the beginning of April, one of our StandUp Reps from Kansas mentioned their state and Missouri have moved to consider new legislation concerning the herb – a shock to those of us who had never heard of it before. but before the month was out, police officers were on the news in Oregon warning of the adverse effects they have been seeing with the use of K2/Spice – seizures and heart palpitations so severe as to require hospitalization.

K2 is advertised as an entirely natural mix of herbs and spices (in many scents/flavors) and a nicotine-free, legal high. It is often called an ‘aromatic potpourri’. But, in reality, the marijuana-type high that users get comes from a synthetic cannabinoid four or five times as potent as THC, the main psychoactive substance in cannabis, which is sprayed on the mix of plants.

Batches have been seized in Sweden and Switzerland. Germany, Austria and France banned the drug earlier this year. The United Kingdom is considering a similar ban.

As it currently stands in most of the United States, a person of any age could walk into a shop and buy this product. So parents, pay attention!

What to look for: sold in 3 gram packets for $20-$50 (in some of the pix they look like foil condom packets), used like traditional marijuana (joints and pipes), undetectable in drug tests.

What users are saying about the downside of K2/Spice:

• …Think about the chemicals you’re inhaling!
• …I had a horrible experience! Extreme paranoia, sadness, guilt and fear. It lasted for hours and I thought it would never end.
• …Yep, really paranoid and felt like throwing up.

(Edited for content/length.)